Check, Please!

I had originally had an ice cream date for Sunday afternoon. While I insisted upon frozen yogurt since A- I love it and B-ice cream makes me verrrrry uncomfortable, this fellow was adamant that only ice cream was acceptable. Even after giving him my health reason for not wanting ice cream, this idiot refused to budge on the matter (red flag one... we actually red flag 26- he sent me some weird emails, but I am keeping an open mind, here people). After some conversations and discussion, I come to find out homeboy lives in Centerville. Do you know where that is? Yeah, me neither. Apparently two hours away. I decided this was not going to work because not only do I not like to drive, but I don't like to drive to podunk cities with a population of 600 people. Also, he texts likes a 13 year old girl, and took offense when I told him so. The date got canceled, and I went on my merry way. I was able to squeeze in another nice young man who had been clamoring to get together.

Let's refer to him as Duggar because he sure does have a lot of siblings: SEVEN! What the heck guy? Did your parents not realize that they don't need extra farmhands?? Or that babies don't die of Scarlet Fever anymore?  Okay, well aside from that, my first actual match.com date seemed to have a lot of promise going into it: the fellow was pretty cute from his pictures, has a good job, didn't make any horrendous grammatical offenses in his emails to me, and went to Mizzou for his undergrad! Score!! We could get one of those adorable MU flags for our front porch (a beautiful 2 story brownstone in HP). We talked Mizzou basketball drama in our emails and everything was lovely.

He suggests Ozona's at four on Sunday. Four? Huh?? Am I the first of a line of dates on Sunday? This is not okay with me. I counter with 6. He says no, he has something going on later. Okay then, four works. Hey I'm flexible and maybe I don't know how this whole dating thing works. I don't like Ozona's food, but I do like their patio and who eats dinner at four anyway? He ends up texting saying we can meet at 6 after all and so we do. He shows up. He's cute! I am a little concerned with his tightly tucked in polo shirt and funny-color-wash jeans, but you know, whatever. I'm here to help! Conversation is good. I wasn't hanging on his every word, but it was good enough. He had good things to say, close with the fam, has a good group of friends... wonderful. All great things.

Let's talk about his teeth. They were all different colors. Come on, man.. Look into some Zoom whitening. Some veneers. Some whitening toothpaste!! It very clearly states in my profile that I find dental hygiene to be extremely important. Again, I am keeping an open mind.

He tells me how busy he's been working all day and how once he heads home, he has laundry and chores to do and wants to start reading a book he just got. After two drinks each, when the waitress comes back to ask if we want another round, he tells her no! He asks for the check! After an hour and a half!! I cannot remember a time when I have ever been on a date that the guy cuts the date short! Usually they want to go grab another drink, or move to the next place for dessert... or something! I have no idea what I did or said that he felt that doing laundry was a better option than spending time getting to know this adorable, charming, blonde girl that might possibly be too good to be true (I mean.. right?). Maybe it was because I insisted upon ordering an appetizer and then proceeded to devour half a plate of cheesy, bacony, ranchy potato wheels. What isn't sexy about that?

Hrmph. Maybe if I get him some Crest White Strips, it will make him realize I am thoughtful AND observant! Also, he abbreviated good to "gd" in all of his texts and that drove me crazy. He can go back to his seven brothers and sisters and his new book. See if I care! (Call me!!)

 Maybe he really had a lot of laundry?

My next date is Wednesday and I am kind of looking forward to this one. He's really cute, he loves to golf (I like a guy that golfs- boy hobbies are very important) and has mentioned taking me with him to Maui and Key West. I can live with that. If he cuts the date at 1.5 hours though, I might cut myself when I get home.

Sweet dreams!