Since you looked at me... and also since my last date. Despite his name reminding me too much of what's his face, I was pretty excited about this guy. We had pretty good email banter back and forth and he was realllllllly cute in his pictures. He sets our date as a lunch date at Breadwinners. Yum. I arrive early and put our name on the list. I sit outside to enjoy the beautiful weather and hope to get a glimpse of this fella so I can silently judge and critique him before he sees me and starts jabbering away about God knows what.
I don't notice him until he walks up to me and says hello. "Hello." Awkward I don't know you, really, but we've been talking on emails hug ensues. Excellent. Chitter Chatter. I don't even know what we talk about because I'm too concerned with trying to figure out how his pictures looked so adorable and he... wait why would I agree to a date with a guy who is 5'6"?? I can't even wear heels! Luckily I was wearing sandals today, I'd hate to give him an inferiority complex about my towering height. If he's that off with his height... what other measurements is he bad at?!?
Meal was fine, waiter was creepy, conversation with Tim (as in Tiny?) is perfectly acceptable. I don't like where he went to college. He likes to play soccer. He's an only child... which is fine enough, but I kind of want a fella with siblings so that our children can grow up together and we can go on lovely family excursions... like to a dude ranch in Montana.
I'm learning so much about what I want in a man (and apparently that I make weird plans before date one). I never thought to put much thought in those kind of things aside from "I hope he's a man and I hope he has a big... heart and likes to open doors" because you know they say that fate likes to F with those people with too many expectations. "Ohhh you said tall and brown eyes? Mwaaahhaaaa short and no eyes biatch!"
So, whatever. Another notch in my online date belt. I will say I did just text him because I felt bad that I never responded to his last text last week, and he responded with "who is this?" Ouch. I guess he moved on, too. ;)
In other news, The President never emailed me. I guess this means we aren't getting one of those house divided flags? Seriously? What can I possibly have said that would make a dude not want to at least go on a second date?? I mean-I'm cute, I'm funny, I try to be charming... I might take a tape recorder along the next time to play back and figure out what exactly it is that is making this boys run for the hills.
Maybe I should heed everyone's advise "all the wrong ones are just getting you ready for the right one that is going to be your wonderful, perfect, amazing prince charming and will be everything you want him to be and... blah blah blah." If someone else says this to me after another first date that I don't really care too much about, I am going to punch them. I'm not over here wanting each of these guys to get down on one knee... but I wouldn't mind a little "movie watching" on the couch ;)
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
I'll be there with bells on...
So, one of the things I think I am most afraid of in my online dating endeavors is going on one of these dates and coming to find out that Mr. Online Guy has used: outdated, inaccurate, misleading or tricky photos. I mean, how do you react to that? I will tell you how I would react to that. I would go to the restroom, call my roommate and tell her she locked herself out of the apartment, or got a flat, or possibly is being chased by penguins (they can get aggressive and I imagine their beaks are sharp, so this is not a good scenario to be in), and she needs to call me back in 12 minutes to tell me of her misadventure so I can go to her rescue like SUPER GIRL!
I tell you this because, as I sat on the waiting bench at Cheesecake Factory, a man walks in. He is about 6', dark hair, kind of tan skin, dark eyes and about 45. The guy I am meeting (from here on out he will be called The President) is supposed to be... you guessed it: 6', dark hair, kind of tan skin, dark eyes, and not 45. My heart starts to pound a little harder in the non-good way. Ughhhhh- I have been dreading this. Mr. Old Balls sits about 2 feet away from me and keeps looking at the door. Is he looking for me?? Does he not recognize my beautiful face from my carefully selected (to ensure maximum creepy-man emails) profile pictures?
Luckily, about 3 minutes later, a tall dark and handsome man walks in and I am relieved. Does he look so much more handsome because I am so ecstatic he didn't go to high school with my dad? Possibly. Irrelevant. Unlike Duggar, he looks better in person than in his photos! Score!! This is great news! So we sit down, and I hear the jingling of bells. He shows me his watch and how he has attached bells to them. What! He actually followed through on a comment made in passing! We had been emailing back and forth and I affirmed our date saying "I will be there with bells on... probably not with bells on, but there." And he replied that he would in fact be wearing bells.. and he was. Good boy.
Dinner is pretty good. We have some food, some drinks and some decent conversation. He orders martinis... okay. That's fine, I guess. I mean, drink what makes you happy. But, maybe don't tell me that your guilty pleasure is you love to watch Glee, while drinking your fancy-glassed beverage.
I call him The President because of a few things. He is president of the Dallas chapter of his college's alumni association. That's pretty cool. I would love to work for Mizzou in Dallas! And, he works for a bank. Mind you, he isn't the president of the bank, but he does work at one and banks have presidents, so it makes sense to me!
The President told me he likes to wake up at approximately 5:00 am each morning so he can get to the office by 6? I almost chugged my Riesling and walked away then. That is not going to work for me, pal. I like to sleep until the last minute possible... and then lay in bed for another 15 just to challenge myself to get to work on time. He also mentioned that his little side gig of helping out the alumni association is like having a second time job. He said sometimes he doesn't get home until 10, and hasn't even had dinner yet! I recommended he keep a banana in his pocket in case he gets real real hungry.
Aside from the work-a-holic, early risin', Glee watchin' parts, this guy is so put together. You can tell just by chatting with him. I like it. He just turned 30 and he seemed like more of a grown up than MP does at 32. I could like this, but... how is he going to feel that I like to watch cartoons, doodle my name on all myschool trapper-keepers work portfolios and maybe still sleep with a stuffed animal? Not very grown up. If MP didn't think I was enough of a grown up and he has been known to act like a frat boy after a kegger, then I am thinking The Pres is going to delete my email address stat... even though he promised to take me on vacations. The little liar.
Oh yeah, and he never called. Guess I shouldn't have told him that I also have a guilty pleasure: I watch shows on the WB. Or maybe it was the awkward lean in hug I gave him... maybe I shoulda gone for the smooch... I did kind of owe him after he saved me from going on a date with a 45 year old!
Alright... who is next on the list?
PS. Mr President, I am NOT singing you happy birthday and I am erasingour names entwined in hearts from my trapper keeper YOUR email address! SO THERE!
I tell you this because, as I sat on the waiting bench at Cheesecake Factory, a man walks in. He is about 6', dark hair, kind of tan skin, dark eyes and about 45. The guy I am meeting (from here on out he will be called The President) is supposed to be... you guessed it: 6', dark hair, kind of tan skin, dark eyes, and not 45. My heart starts to pound a little harder in the non-good way. Ughhhhh- I have been dreading this. Mr. Old Balls sits about 2 feet away from me and keeps looking at the door. Is he looking for me?? Does he not recognize my beautiful face from my carefully selected (to ensure maximum creepy-man emails) profile pictures?
Luckily, about 3 minutes later, a tall dark and handsome man walks in and I am relieved. Does he look so much more handsome because I am so ecstatic he didn't go to high school with my dad? Possibly. Irrelevant. Unlike Duggar, he looks better in person than in his photos! Score!! This is great news! So we sit down, and I hear the jingling of bells. He shows me his watch and how he has attached bells to them. What! He actually followed through on a comment made in passing! We had been emailing back and forth and I affirmed our date saying "I will be there with bells on... probably not with bells on, but there." And he replied that he would in fact be wearing bells.. and he was. Good boy.
Dinner is pretty good. We have some food, some drinks and some decent conversation. He orders martinis... okay. That's fine, I guess. I mean, drink what makes you happy. But, maybe don't tell me that your guilty pleasure is you love to watch Glee, while drinking your fancy-glassed beverage.
I call him The President because of a few things. He is president of the Dallas chapter of his college's alumni association. That's pretty cool. I would love to work for Mizzou in Dallas! And, he works for a bank. Mind you, he isn't the president of the bank, but he does work at one and banks have presidents, so it makes sense to me!
The President told me he likes to wake up at approximately 5:00 am each morning so he can get to the office by 6? I almost chugged my Riesling and walked away then. That is not going to work for me, pal. I like to sleep until the last minute possible... and then lay in bed for another 15 just to challenge myself to get to work on time. He also mentioned that his little side gig of helping out the alumni association is like having a second time job. He said sometimes he doesn't get home until 10, and hasn't even had dinner yet! I recommended he keep a banana in his pocket in case he gets real real hungry.
Aside from the work-a-holic, early risin', Glee watchin' parts, this guy is so put together. You can tell just by chatting with him. I like it. He just turned 30 and he seemed like more of a grown up than MP does at 32. I could like this, but... how is he going to feel that I like to watch cartoons, doodle my name on all my
Oh yeah, and he never called. Guess I shouldn't have told him that I also have a guilty pleasure: I watch shows on the WB. Or maybe it was the awkward lean in hug I gave him... maybe I shoulda gone for the smooch... I did kind of owe him after he saved me from going on a date with a 45 year old!
Alright... who is next on the list?
PS. Mr President, I am NOT singing you happy birthday and I am erasing
Monday, April 4, 2011
Check, Please!
I had originally had an ice cream date for Sunday afternoon. While I insisted upon frozen yogurt since A- I love it and B-ice cream makes me verrrrry uncomfortable, this fellow was adamant that only ice cream was acceptable. Even after giving him my health reason for not wanting ice cream, this idiot refused to budge on the matter (red flag one... we actually red flag 26- he sent me some weird emails, but I am keeping an open mind, here people). After some conversations and discussion, I come to find out homeboy lives in Centerville. Do you know where that is? Yeah, me neither. Apparently two hours away. I decided this was not going to work because not only do I not like to drive, but I don't like to drive to podunk cities with a population of 600 people. Also, he texts likes a 13 year old girl, and took offense when I told him so. The date got canceled, and I went on my merry way. I was able to squeeze in another nice young man who had been clamoring to get together.
Let's refer to him as Duggar because he sure does have a lot of siblings: SEVEN! What the heck guy? Did your parents not realize that they don't need extra farmhands?? Or that babies don't die of Scarlet Fever anymore? Okay, well aside from that, my first actual match.com date seemed to have a lot of promise going into it: the fellow was pretty cute from his pictures, has a good job, didn't make any horrendous grammatical offenses in his emails to me, and went to Mizzou for his undergrad! Score!! We could get one of those adorable MU flags for our front porch (a beautiful 2 story brownstone in HP). We talked Mizzou basketball drama in our emails and everything was lovely.
He suggests Ozona's at four on Sunday. Four? Huh?? Am I the first of a line of dates on Sunday? This is not okay with me. I counter with 6. He says no, he has something going on later. Okay then, four works. Hey I'm flexible and maybe I don't know how this whole dating thing works. I don't like Ozona's food, but I do like their patio and who eats dinner at four anyway? He ends up texting saying we can meet at 6 after all and so we do. He shows up. He's cute! I am a little concerned with his tightly tucked in polo shirt and funny-color-wash jeans, but you know, whatever. I'm here to help! Conversation is good. I wasn't hanging on his every word, but it was good enough. He had good things to say, close with the fam, has a good group of friends... wonderful. All great things.
Let's talk about his teeth. They were all different colors. Come on, man.. Look into some Zoom whitening. Some veneers. Some whitening toothpaste!! It very clearly states in my profile that I find dental hygiene to be extremely important. Again, I am keeping an open mind.
He tells me how busy he's been working all day and how once he heads home, he has laundry and chores to do and wants to start reading a book he just got. After two drinks each, when the waitress comes back to ask if we want another round, he tells her no! He asks for the check! After an hour and a half!! I cannot remember a time when I have ever been on a date that the guy cuts the date short! Usually they want to go grab another drink, or move to the next place for dessert... or something! I have no idea what I did or said that he felt that doing laundry was a better option than spending time getting to know this adorable, charming, blonde girl that might possibly be too good to be true (I mean.. right?). Maybe it was because I insisted upon ordering an appetizer and then proceeded to devour half a plate of cheesy, bacony, ranchy potato wheels. What isn't sexy about that?
Hrmph. Maybe if I get him some Crest White Strips, it will make him realize I am thoughtful AND observant! Also, he abbreviated good to "gd" in all of his texts and that drove me crazy. He can go back to his seven brothers and sisters and his new book. See if I care! (Call me!!)
My next date is Wednesday and I am kind of looking forward to this one. He's really cute, he loves to golf (I like a guy that golfs- boy hobbies are very important) and has mentioned taking me with him to Maui and Key West. I can live with that. If he cuts the date at 1.5 hours though, I might cut myself when I get home.
Sweet dreams!
Let's refer to him as Duggar because he sure does have a lot of siblings: SEVEN! What the heck guy? Did your parents not realize that they don't need extra farmhands?? Or that babies don't die of Scarlet Fever anymore? Okay, well aside from that, my first actual match.com date seemed to have a lot of promise going into it: the fellow was pretty cute from his pictures, has a good job, didn't make any horrendous grammatical offenses in his emails to me, and went to Mizzou for his undergrad! Score!! We could get one of those adorable MU flags for our front porch (a beautiful 2 story brownstone in HP). We talked Mizzou basketball drama in our emails and everything was lovely.
He suggests Ozona's at four on Sunday. Four? Huh?? Am I the first of a line of dates on Sunday? This is not okay with me. I counter with 6. He says no, he has something going on later. Okay then, four works. Hey I'm flexible and maybe I don't know how this whole dating thing works. I don't like Ozona's food, but I do like their patio and who eats dinner at four anyway? He ends up texting saying we can meet at 6 after all and so we do. He shows up. He's cute! I am a little concerned with his tightly tucked in polo shirt and funny-color-wash jeans, but you know, whatever. I'm here to help! Conversation is good. I wasn't hanging on his every word, but it was good enough. He had good things to say, close with the fam, has a good group of friends... wonderful. All great things.
Let's talk about his teeth. They were all different colors. Come on, man.. Look into some Zoom whitening. Some veneers. Some whitening toothpaste!! It very clearly states in my profile that I find dental hygiene to be extremely important. Again, I am keeping an open mind.
He tells me how busy he's been working all day and how once he heads home, he has laundry and chores to do and wants to start reading a book he just got. After two drinks each, when the waitress comes back to ask if we want another round, he tells her no! He asks for the check! After an hour and a half!! I cannot remember a time when I have ever been on a date that the guy cuts the date short! Usually they want to go grab another drink, or move to the next place for dessert... or something! I have no idea what I did or said that he felt that doing laundry was a better option than spending time getting to know this adorable, charming, blonde girl that might possibly be too good to be true (I mean.. right?). Maybe it was because I insisted upon ordering an appetizer and then proceeded to devour half a plate of cheesy, bacony, ranchy potato wheels. What isn't sexy about that?
Hrmph. Maybe if I get him some Crest White Strips, it will make him realize I am thoughtful AND observant! Also, he abbreviated good to "gd" in all of his texts and that drove me crazy. He can go back to his seven brothers and sisters and his new book. See if I care! (Call me!!)
Maybe he really had a lot of laundry?
My next date is Wednesday and I am kind of looking forward to this one. He's really cute, he loves to golf (I like a guy that golfs- boy hobbies are very important) and has mentioned taking me with him to Maui and Key West. I can live with that. If he cuts the date at 1.5 hours though, I might cut myself when I get home.
Sweet dreams!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
And so it begins...
While I planned on writing one blog per date, I figured I could put these two together since they were the same fella and were so very similar-despite one being at a four star steakhouse and one at a casual dining restaurant.
Date one in a nutshell:
Let's call him Al in honor of the place we went on our first date: Al Biernat's. Conversation was good! He's funny and cute and nice... I had to send my steak back, and even when I got my new one, it still wasn't cooked properly. And he actually didn't leave my picky rear just sitting there. I was kind of disappointed Mr. Biernat's. Also, side note: we sat on the patio and there was a dog. And he sat in a chair... seriously? Then after dinner we went to Cru for a little more wine. More nice conversation, good wine, and great weather. He walked me to my car, rushed in real quick pecked me on the mouth and scurried off.
Date two in a nutshell:
I met him at Houlihan's- I love that place. Well, to be honest, I love any place that offers "flights" of things- especially martinis. And then, the waitress had the audacity to talk me out of the martini flight! And I let her! What the heck, woman? That was the whole reason I even wanted to go there. Whatever- the key lime pie martini was delicious. Again, Al is funny and nice and cute and conversation was good! AND: He walked me to my car, rushed in real quick pecked me on the mouth and scurried off (copy-paste). Hmmmm.
Now, I am okay with the no kisses yet. Except, the way he says goodbye is so very odd to me. And I dunno about his voice. And he's kind of short. And he has a lot of hand movements when he talks. And did I mention that he was wearing a suede bomber-type jacket on Date 2? Excellent. Oh, have I mentioned he's been married?
While I know this shouldn't be a deal breaker, I don't love this. Eh, as long as he doesn't get his hopes up, he is a fun guy to hang out with. Even if he drives a frivolous, completely ridiculous car that I don't feel to be good for much, except maybe overcompensating for... Uh oh. Let's not get into that yet. Back to the car. Corvettes are pretty much useless as a primary car, as far as I am concerned. What if I need stuff hauled? What if we need to move something big? What if we want to tailgate? A truck or SUV is an appropriate car for a man.
In other news, Baby T gets back sometime today. He brings me fun surprises when he comes back from trips. He's such a sweet, nice boy. One thing he does that I absolutely love is that he texts me each and every morning.. Unless it's the weekend. Or he's out of town. Or he's hanging out with his ridiculous friends... And I hate that! I need consistency! Brat. But, how do you even break up with someone you aren't "with"? I don't know how he would feel to know I was dating like it is my job. I hope he brings me back a snow globe.
Also, there's a very good chance I am not ready to be dating at this time. Which is a mean girl move for all these poor fellas that are going to fall for me and I am going to have to tell them that they have failed to melt my heart of ice. Or scaled the stone wall. Or got past the electric fence. Or battled the fire breathing dragon. Or made it through the choppy, piranha infested moat... Anyway, where was I? We'll see. I will forge on! Starting tonight.
Do I refer to these dates in this format: this is 2-1 (Man 2-Date 1)? That should be good right? Al is at 1-2.... Baby T doesn't fit into this equation at all. Although... numbers can confuse me and I might lose count and then everyone is going to be thrown off and I won't know who I am going out with and where I am going or what date I am on... Maybe an excel spreadsheet will help with this.
I'll keep you posted. I am off to get beautiful for the next contestant. ;)
Date one in a nutshell:
Let's call him Al in honor of the place we went on our first date: Al Biernat's. Conversation was good! He's funny and cute and nice... I had to send my steak back, and even when I got my new one, it still wasn't cooked properly. And he actually didn't leave my picky rear just sitting there. I was kind of disappointed Mr. Biernat's. Also, side note: we sat on the patio and there was a dog. And he sat in a chair... seriously? Then after dinner we went to Cru for a little more wine. More nice conversation, good wine, and great weather. He walked me to my car, rushed in real quick pecked me on the mouth and scurried off.
Date two in a nutshell:
I met him at Houlihan's- I love that place. Well, to be honest, I love any place that offers "flights" of things- especially martinis. And then, the waitress had the audacity to talk me out of the martini flight! And I let her! What the heck, woman? That was the whole reason I even wanted to go there. Whatever- the key lime pie martini was delicious. Again, Al is funny and nice and cute and conversation was good! AND: He walked me to my car, rushed in real quick pecked me on the mouth and scurried off (copy-paste). Hmmmm.
Now, I am okay with the no kisses yet. Except, the way he says goodbye is so very odd to me. And I dunno about his voice. And he's kind of short. And he has a lot of hand movements when he talks. And did I mention that he was wearing a suede bomber-type jacket on Date 2? Excellent. Oh, have I mentioned he's been married?
While I know this shouldn't be a deal breaker, I don't love this. Eh, as long as he doesn't get his hopes up, he is a fun guy to hang out with. Even if he drives a frivolous, completely ridiculous car that I don't feel to be good for much, except maybe overcompensating for... Uh oh. Let's not get into that yet. Back to the car. Corvettes are pretty much useless as a primary car, as far as I am concerned. What if I need stuff hauled? What if we need to move something big? What if we want to tailgate? A truck or SUV is an appropriate car for a man.
In other news, Baby T gets back sometime today. He brings me fun surprises when he comes back from trips. He's such a sweet, nice boy. One thing he does that I absolutely love is that he texts me each and every morning.. Unless it's the weekend. Or he's out of town. Or he's hanging out with his ridiculous friends... And I hate that! I need consistency! Brat. But, how do you even break up with someone you aren't "with"? I don't know how he would feel to know I was dating like it is my job. I hope he brings me back a snow globe.
Also, there's a very good chance I am not ready to be dating at this time. Which is a mean girl move for all these poor fellas that are going to fall for me and I am going to have to tell them that they have failed to melt my heart of ice. Or scaled the stone wall. Or got past the electric fence. Or battled the fire breathing dragon. Or made it through the choppy, piranha infested moat... Anyway, where was I? We'll see. I will forge on! Starting tonight.
Do I refer to these dates in this format: this is 2-1 (Man 2-Date 1)? That should be good right? Al is at 1-2.... Baby T doesn't fit into this equation at all. Although... numbers can confuse me and I might lose count and then everyone is going to be thrown off and I won't know who I am going out with and where I am going or what date I am on... Maybe an excel spreadsheet will help with this.
I'll keep you posted. I am off to get beautiful for the next contestant. ;)
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