Our original date was canceled and he promised that he would absolutely not cancel again- but since he was stuck traveling and he just wasn't going to make it back in time, he just wasn't going to be able to make this date. Fine, fine. I understand- stuff comes up. But, as I now had a bit more time on my hand, I decided to peruse his profile and see what I was missing out on. First off, he didn't really have any good pictures of him on his profile. WHY? I do.not.understand why guys don't have any good, solid pictures of themselves- showing their faces from at least 3 different angles, NOT taken in a mirror with a cell phone. Second, Shooter had TWO pictures (out of his six) of his dog; not of him and his dog mind you, but just his dog. Beautiful golden retriever? Ferocious German shepherd? Oh no, no...
I love animals. LOVE THEM.... but I just have a hard time wrapping my head around a man who owns such a... frilly little dog. The kicker is that it isn't the residue of some break-up... He bought it himself. Seriously, man? In addition, when describing the dog, he called it a "Shit Zu" and said that Harley was the love of his life.
Alrightie then... now I am hoping that maybe he does choose to never reschedule our date- despite his funny emails and offerings of a date to an iguana farm. He doesn't. We schedule a date... one that I accidentally set for a Thursday during Mavs playoffs on accident. He said he promised not to reschedule, so he agreed on Thursday. We meet at the restaurant... I feel bad about only being free on this Thursday, but maybe he isn't a huge Mavs fan? Wrong. He loves the Mavs. He told me they were his all time favorite team ever. Oops. He loves them more than I love Mizzou... Wait, wait wait. I am lying. He cannot possibly love ANYTHING more than I love the Tigers, but... you get it. Sorry Shooter.
The food is fine- we split a little flatbread appetizer thing and I have a salad... and that's it. WTF? Is he watching his weight? I think it's weird when dudes do girlie stuff like that... but then again homeboy does own a dog that wears ribbons. He somehow talks me into going to watch the game with him at a bar down the road. Fine, fine. I kind of owe him for making him miss the first quarter (which who cares about anyway), so I oblige. I'm not
We walk into the bar, mosey up to get some drinks, and my darling date asks me if I would like a shot. (I wish I could input that errrrrrr record stopping sound here, but just imagine it).. What?
"A shot," he says.
Uhm, no... no thanks. It's a school night and I have to work in the morning... How old are you again? Are you 21? I'm sorry, I guess I should've studied your age instead of your ridiculous photos.
Okay, I'm out for the count at this point. He's a spoiled rich kid (drives a new caddie, pulls out rolls of cash, flies around the country "starting his businesses," takes Patron shots at 9 on Thursday nights, and of course, went to Highland Park High School), I'm not impressed at all, and I want to go home.. or at the very least, meet up with my friends to watch the game.
He tells me how much prettier I am in real life than in photos. Neat. Thanks.
He tries to do a sneaky-attack kiss (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR). Seriously dude? Next time you're in the end zone, act like you've been there before... And by end-zone, I mean a first date. I definitely don't mean my
He asks me if I would like to watch the rest of the Mavs game at his friend's place. It is apparently more comfy there, and the TV is much easier to see. Again, I've been in the saddle more than once, and no thank you kind sir, I most definitely would not like to do that. Yes, I am sure. Yes, I can see the TV just fine from here. No, I already told you I would not. Yes, I understand you will bring me back to my car, later... Sigh.
The Corona girls where there, and if you let them take your photo, they would give you a free Corona. I need one of those, thankyouverymuch (Now I realize I should've taken that shot, but as they say: hindsight is 20/20). I wish more than anything else in the world right now that I could upload that photo that those lovely ladies took of us so you could how adorable I look, and see his douche-tastic pose... see his squenched eyes, rock & roll mouth and fist-pump arm.... but alas, I cannot. It was like this, but worse:
There were so, so, so many cute guys in the bar... why am I with this dude?
When the Mavs start to lose, he starts to get upset. Shoves his chair, stomps his feet around... Settle down, dude. They might come back. Much like a pouting child, he assures me that there is no GD way. F this. F that. F the Mavs.
The Mavs won. Told you so, whiny brat.
Yep, high five for you, Shooter!! Hug for this hot guy next to me... maybe an HJ if you'd leave me the eff alone for a few minutes....
Take me to my car. NOW. His kissing attempts are apparently ready for action again. I show him my cheek. Thank him for a lovely night.... And text him that maybe he should've made sure I got safely into my car before screeching your tires and peeling out.
I'm so stunned by this date that when I get home and see an email from a guy that I have been emailing with for months asking (verbatim) "you got plans for dinner tomorrow night?" I inform him that I do not. I never do Friday night first date dates, but whatever. I don't have plans for that night and I have no expectations for this dude who leaves the G off of words and talks like a hillbilly. Where you from, boy? Alabama... what the hell, let's go. Let's just knock these 17 dates out right here. Right now.
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