It's not you, it's... maybe it is you.

Before I officially signed up for this online dating business, and I was just looking at the boys to see if I thought there were enough cute ones, I saw one that I thought was super cute. I decided then and there, what the heck! If this cute guy is on here, then there will be plenty of boys I will like... or at least there should be a decent pool of acceptable contenders for me to choose from. So I signed up and waited for him to send me a message. Or wink at me. Or.. do something. He never did! Finally, I had to take matters into my own hands so I sent him a message. Let's call this chap Gretzky because he plays hockey.

A few match.com messages led to a few real emails led to hilarious text message banter led to a phone call. Yep, he actually called me on the phone! We talked for almost two hours, and boy was I smitten. He was funny and sweet and had a good voice and I started wondering if our children would have blue eyes or green eyes.

We texted for the next few days and he called me Sunday to officially ask for my hand in me out for Monday, which I thought was very sweet. I got more and more nervous as each day passed and by the time Monday came around, I was sure I would be unable to go on the actual date because I would be dead from a heart attack.

WHAT DO I DO NOW??? What is better; kiss or no kiss on the first date? What if I run out of things to talk about?? What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't like him!? What should I wear? Hair up? Down? Half and half? Oh dear Lord.

I hate being late, but I was a few minutes late due to a few minor breakdowns in my attempt to look perfect and 64 outfit changes. The date went fine. Great conversation, chit chat, banter... And then for the kicker. At the end of the date, he looks at me and says "Yeah, so, honestly? I don't see this going anywhere."

I'm sorry... but uhm what??? After a couple of weeks of delightful conversation, he is able to surmise that we would never work out in the relationship department after a couple of hours and a few drinks?? I am baffled by this news from Mr. Gretzky. While I definitely appreciated his honesty, I was awfully taken aback that he would tell me right there to my face that I wasn't doing it for him. Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough (I'm definitely funny enough, a-hole!)?

So, I stressed out whether or not I should kiss him because I wanted to do the right thing to ensure he realllllly liked me. Well, the story isn't over yet. He walked me to my car and after a pitcher of sangria, I decided it wouldn't matter what he thought about kissing on the first date since he already told me he wouldn't be interested in seeing me again, so I did. Right then and there. In the middle of uptown, by my car... some lip-locking, tonsil hockey, steamy little make-out sesh. Maybe it was an unresolved issue from college that all too often led me to using my womanly wiles to prove my attractiveness/self esteem/worth as a person... but we kissed for awhile by my car and then (And I probably should not even be telling you guys this) I didn't turn down his offer to watch a movie at his place.

First date slumber party. Real classy. Also, we've chatted all week and he may have been so kind as to give me a ride to my home Friday night after a piano bar and some birthday celebrations. But, he didn't like me. Not attracted to me. Hmmm.

 Oops... details will not be forthcoming.

Annnnnnd I've gotten my first online-dating-website-date-kiss. Uhm... yay?

I think I learned more from this one date than the other 5 combined. Stay tuned for a list of those lessons.